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(cont.)笑话续集开始上演,如果大家都来笑一笑,打破吉尼斯世界记录的梦想就这样不

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一飞 发表于 2007-1-1 02:24:27 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式 打印 上一主题 下一主题
 
[glow=255,red,2]Maybe you miss the big reward. Don't worry. We will give another chance that lasts very very long[/glow]

[fly]奖励:
每人20盟币[/fly]


须知:
1,必须按照要求发布英语笑话,反之,不予奖励
2,必须有英文标题
3,不得重复,发帖时需在此验证一下,会有及时的更新,当然,最新的也要看看
3,每人只允许跟帖一次,违反者,倒扣5盟币


1,Just Sew the Buttonhole
2,Virtue
3,Keep feeding him nickels
4,One or Two?
5,Logic Reasoning
6,One more cake
7,The Looney Bin (疯人院)
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pieer 发表于 2007-1-1 04:56:27 | 显示全部楼层
 
I am not sure whether the silly tranlation below counts or not.

A: Are you kidding?
B:No, I am serious.

中文翻译:
A:你是鸡丁吗?
B:不,我是斯瑞而斯。
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dhj99 发表于 2007-1-1 11:09:04 | 显示全部楼层
 
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
翻译:四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
呵呵,一个比一个效率高. [s:1]
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hppei 发表于 2007-1-1 16:15:25 | 显示全部楼层
 
Just Sew the Buttonhole

Husband: Did you sew the button on my shirt, darling?
Wife: No, dear. I couldn't find the button, so I just sewed up the buttonhole.

丈夫:你给我把扣子缝好了吗,亲爱的?
妻子:没有,亲爱的。我找不到扣子,所以我只把扣眼儿给缝上了。
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haixing2004 发表于 2007-1-1 20:36:21 | 显示全部楼层
 
1. Virtue

Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.

When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. &quoterseverance is a virtue."
美 德

获取研究生学位多年以后,我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员。一天,电梯里很拥挤,有人抱怨电梯效率太低。我说自我在那里当学生起,20年来电梯一直没有换过。

最后当电梯门打开时,我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下,回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑。“你会拿到学位的,亲爱的,”她低声说道:“坚持不懈是一种美德。”
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workman 发表于 2007-1-1 20:39:51 | 显示全部楼层

再喂他几枚五分镍币

 
A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it .She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes.Frantically, she called to the father outside.

"Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do ?"

Yelled back the father ,"Keep feeding him nickels!"

  母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去,她立刻将他抱起,头朝下不停地拍打他的后背,他咳出了两枚一角的硬币,她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道:

  “你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币,可咳出两枚一角的硬币!我该怎么办呢?“

  孩子他爸大声回答道:“再喂他几枚五分镍币!”
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dqsunce 发表于 2007-1-2 19:21:18 | 显示全部楼层
 
    One or Two?

Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish.
Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two.

顾客:服务员,我盘子里怎么只有一块肉?
服务员:先生,请稍候,我去把它切成两块。
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bl_cn 发表于 2007-1-2 19:32:15 | 显示全部楼层
 
Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter.... First Woman : "My dos is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me. Second Woman : "I know..." First Woman : "How?" Second Woman : "My dog told me."
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笨笨石头 发表于 2007-1-2 22:14:15 | 显示全部楼层
 
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

一天,有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村,在乡间路上开着车,想看看农庄是什么样子,也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上,手中抱着一头猪,并把它举得高高的,好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说,"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的,但是,这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说,"时间对猪有什么意义?"
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lhongshi 发表于 2007-1-3 09:26:33 | 显示全部楼层
 
When I was waiting in line at the bank, I noticed a woman holding a small child at one of the windows. The boy was eating a roll, which he thrust at the teller. The teller smiled and shook his head.
  
  “No, no, dear,” said the boy’s mother, and then, turning to the teller, “I beg your pardon, young man. Please forgive my son. He’s just been to the zoo.”
  
  当我在银行里排队时,发现一位妇女抱着一个小孩站在一个窗口前。小男孩正在吃一个面包卷,并将面包卷戳向出纳员,出纳员笑着摇了摇头。
  “别这样,亲爱的,”男孩的妈妈说。然后她转向出纳员说,“对不起,小伙子。请原谅我的儿子,他刚去过动物园。”
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