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(cont.)笑话续集开始上演,如果大家都来笑一笑,打破吉尼斯世界记录的梦想就这样不

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shi_dm 发表于 2007-10-20 12:10:20 | 显示全部楼层

Peacock

 
a old man was sitting and nodding in a bench in a crowed shopping center while a fashionable young man is coming and sat besides him. the young man's hair was highlighted  with a few kind of exotic colors. The old man started to stare at the young man's face without moving his eyeballs. Finally,the young man lose his patience and turned to the old man: " have you done anything wild when you was young?" the old man slowly said: " yes, I have, I have ever made sex with a peacock. I am doubting [s:30]whether you are my lost son."  
[s:32]

一个老人坐在商场的凳子上打盹,这时一个时髦的,头发染成五颜六色的年轻人走过来,坐在老人旁边。老人开始目不转睛地盯着年轻人看,年轻人被看的很不耐烦,说:‘你年轻时候,就没做过什么疯狂的事儿?“老人慢吞吞地回答:”我做过,我曾经和一个孔雀做过爱, 我正在怀疑你是不是我失散多年的儿子。。。"
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tevinbbs 发表于 2007-11-7 03:00:21 | 显示全部楼层
 
[s:32][s:32][s:32]
                         The Looney Bin

Late one night at the insane asylum ,one inmate shouted, "I am  Napoleon!"

Another one said, "How do you know?"

The first inmate said, "God told me!"

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"


                       疯人院

一天晚上,在疯人院里,一个病人说:"我是拿破仑!"

另一个说:"你怎么知道?"

第一个人说:"上帝对我说的!"

一会儿,一个声音从另一个房间传来:"我没说!"
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deardennis 发表于 2007-12-6 13:13:56 | 显示全部楼层
 
Tight skirt

This lady that was wearing a tight skirt tried to step
up onto the step but her skirt was too tight. So she reached back to unzip and
loosen it a little. She tried to step up onto the steps again. But it was still
too tight. She reached back and unzipped some more. Tried to step up again and
the skirt was still too tight. She tried one more time. She reached back and
unzipped some more. And she still couldn's get up onto the bus. So this man
behind her reaches and grabs her by the butt. He gives her a boost onto the bus.
She turns around and slaps him and saying "What do you think you are doing."
Well the man says "Well lady after you unzipped my pants for the third time I
thought we were acquainted."

一妙龄美女穿一紧身裙要上公共汽车,由于裙子太紧抬不起腿来而不能上车,于是她就偷偷地伸手将后面的拉练拉开一点,可是还是上不去,就又拉开一点,但还是上不去,就又解开一点。但仍上不去。这时后面一男子见状,就伸手帮她解开一下并一把把她推上公交车,该女子就回头打了男子一耳光冲男人骂了一句“你在干什么”! 男子很委屈地说:“你解开了我前面的三个扣子,我以为我们很熟呢”
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aidaj 发表于 2008-5-12 18:22:14 | 显示全部楼层
 
I Wasn't Asleep

When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep,  and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.

"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

  我没有睡着

  当一群妇女上车之后,车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了,他担心这个人会坐过站,就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他,说:“先生,醒醒!”

    “我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。

    “没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?”

    “我知道,我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
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gdluntan 发表于 2008-7-25 17:19:57 | 显示全部楼层
 
When I was waiting in line at the bank, I noticed a woman holding a small child at one of the windows. The boy was eating a roll, which he thrust at the teller. The teller smiled and shook his head.
  
  “No, no, dear,” said the boy’s mother, and then, turning to the teller, “I beg your pardon, young man. Please forgive my son. He’s just been to the zoo.”
  
  当我在银行里排队时,发现一位妇女抱着一个小孩站在一个窗口前。小男孩正在吃一个面包卷,并将面包卷戳向出纳员,出纳员笑着摇了摇头。
  “别这样,亲爱的,”男孩的妈妈说。然后她转向出纳员说,“对不起,小伙子。请原谅我的儿子,他刚去过动物园。”
本文来自: 博研联盟论坛 http://bbs.bylm.net ◆学术交流◆科研互助◆资源共享
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123xiaoyizi 发表于 2008-9-1 00:15:13 | 显示全部楼层
 
one world,one dream!
同一个世界,同一个梦想!
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做个洋秀才 发表于 2008-9-19 17:13:01 | 显示全部楼层
 
Blind Date
相亲
    After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

和相亲对象呆了一晚上后,男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话,这样他就能借故先离开了。当他回到桌边,他垂下眼睛,装出一副阴沉的表情,说:“有个不幸的消息,我的祖父刚刚去世了。”“谢天谢地!”他的约会对象说,“如果你的祖父不死,我的祖父就得死了!”
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zx001tp60d 发表于 2008-9-25 07:44:52 | 显示全部楼层
 
[s:241] It's a pity I have nothing to share here, maybe next time. Thanks.
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painkillor 发表于 2008-10-18 15:59:48 | 显示全部楼层
 
Let me ask a question,
Usually, u got a engagering before you got married, then a weddingring at your wedding day.
But u may not know is, u will get one more ring after your marrige. So my question is do u know what ring it is?
Don't tell me it is a divorce ring, that is no fun.
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muxh2004 发表于 2008-12-5 11:38:31 | 显示全部楼层
 
always watching ,let me try .
The vampire bat
So many vampire bat in their cave , all angry because they did not eat any kind of blood , and then an other one came , so many blood on his face and in his mouth, others asked he ungent, "tell me where were you go , and you got so many blood "  the one said  "do you see our top of the cave ?  others answered hurry "yse " , the one said " do you see the tree before the cave ?" others answered "yes ,and then ??" the one said "shit ,i did not see the tree "
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