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(cont.)笑话续集开始上演,如果大家都来笑一笑,打破吉尼斯世界记录的梦想就这样不

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dqsunce 发表于 2007-1-2 19:21:18 | 显示全部楼层
 
    One or Two?

Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish.
Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two.

顾客:服务员,我盘子里怎么只有一块肉?
服务员:先生,请稍候,我去把它切成两块。
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bl_cn 发表于 2007-1-2 19:32:15 | 显示全部楼层
 
Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter.... First Woman : "My dos is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me. Second Woman : "I know..." First Woman : "How?" Second Woman : "My dog told me."
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笨笨石头 发表于 2007-1-2 22:14:15 | 显示全部楼层
 
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

一天,有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村,在乡间路上开着车,想看看农庄是什么样子,也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上,手中抱着一头猪,并把它举得高高的,好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说,"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的,但是,这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说,"时间对猪有什么意义?"
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lhongshi 发表于 2007-1-3 09:26:33 | 显示全部楼层
 
When I was waiting in line at the bank, I noticed a woman holding a small child at one of the windows. The boy was eating a roll, which he thrust at the teller. The teller smiled and shook his head.
  
  “No, no, dear,” said the boy’s mother, and then, turning to the teller, “I beg your pardon, young man. Please forgive my son. He’s just been to the zoo.”
  
  当我在银行里排队时,发现一位妇女抱着一个小孩站在一个窗口前。小男孩正在吃一个面包卷,并将面包卷戳向出纳员,出纳员笑着摇了摇头。
  “别这样,亲爱的,”男孩的妈妈说。然后她转向出纳员说,“对不起,小伙子。请原谅我的儿子,他刚去过动物园。”
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zchai_2001 发表于 2007-1-3 09:33:57 | 显示全部楼层
 
A chinese man would like to work in the foreign company,because the foreigner can say "Excuse me" when  he command  to do everything.He joins in McDonalds.But his english is poor.One day,he is working,he is busy.He hear"English Muffin(a thick round cake tasting rather like bread)!" "Yes,English is very 麻烦"he answeres.When he picks up his head,he is very shamed, a foreign woman want to purchase the English Muffin...

因为老外想让人干活之前会先说"Excuse me!",所以一个中国人很愿意为外国人工作。后来他加入了麦当劳,但是他的英文不是很好!一天,他正非常繁忙地工作,他听见有人说“English Muffin/玛芬,一种蛋糕”,他回答:“是的,英语很麻烦”当他抬起头时,他非常难堪,原来是一个外国女人想买玛芬...
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zhengjianguo 发表于 2007-1-3 09:44:22 | 显示全部楼层
 
好笑的英文
调查员:What is your father"s name?
小 弟:Happy!!
调查员:What is your mother"s name?
小 弟:Smile!
调查员:Are you joking?
小 弟:No!!That"s my sister!! I am Kidding!! byebye!
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zyw_z 发表于 2007-1-3 11:21:47 | 显示全部楼层
 
 There's the sad story of the poor guy who was in a terrible motorcycle accident. When he came out from under the anesthetic(麻药), the doctor was leaning over him anxiously.

  "Son," he said, "I've got some good news and some bad news.

  "The bad news is that your were in a very serious accident,
and I'm afraid we had to amputate (切除)both your feet just above the ankle."

  "Jesus," gasped the patient. "What's the good news?"

  "The fellow in the next bed over would like to buy your boots."


有个人碰到车祸,当他从麻药中醒来时,医生紧张的在他身边:
“孩子,我有一个好消息和一个坏消息给你。坏消息是车祸非常严重,你的双脚必须切除......”,
“那么好消息呢”,
“好消息是隔壁床上的那个家伙买走了你脚上的靴子”
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niu916 发表于 2007-1-3 12:12:18 | 显示全部楼层
 
[Logic Reasoning 逻辑推理
  A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
  "Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin
g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

  A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"

  逻辑推理

  小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子:“有这样一种情况,一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼,突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声,知道他并不会游泳,所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么?” 一个女生举手答道,“是不是去取他的存款?” [/color ]
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skywater928 发表于 2007-1-3 18:50:58 | 显示全部楼层

One more cake

 
The old lady was delighted with the gift the boy  brought her.

  "I'll go round and see your mother tomorrow," she said, "And I'll thank for this lovely pie."

  "Um, if you don't mind," the boy said nervously, "could you thank her for two pies?"


Happy new year!
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西墙雨 发表于 2007-1-10 08:39:24 | 显示全部楼层
 
The Looney Bin (疯人院)

      Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"

  Another one said, "How do you know?"

  The first inmate said, "God told me!"

  Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"


疯人院

  一天晚上,在疯人院里,一个病人说:"我是拿破仑!"另一个说:"你怎么知道?"第一个人说:"上帝对我说的!"一会儿,一个声音从另一个房间传来:"我没说!"
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